Tug & Pull

A heart can only handle so much tug and pull,
But we all love to have that attention from whoever comes through to you,
So We look for it,
We feen for it,
We search from person to person,
To find that connection,
We want that attention,
That specific affection,
No matter what situations we put ourselves in,
Go to the ends of the Earth to make it happen,
But you should know,
At the end of the day,
Your left with yourself,
This fact is always left a secret,
A secret from ourselves,
Or better yet,
A denial to ourselves,
so all we hear is,
“Yeah girl i’ll be with you forever”
or
“Yeah boy i’ll be with you forever”
And you cherish this promise they hold over you,
Like there is no end to it,
A promise is solid & definite.
Right?
But what if all that trust you put in with them just changes,
And they drop you like not a fuck was lost,
What if the love of your life doesn’t see you as the love of THEIR life,
What happens then?
Yeah you can talk to as many people as you want,
Trying to fill the void,
But speak truthfully,
It only takes a moment for it to empty again,
And your hopelessly,
Hopelessly in love with the idea that THIS person might be it
Even with your logic screaming don’t do it.
And it’s you controlling the reins to your heart
Tugging left
Pulling right
But who are you to let everyone beat it up like its in a fight
A fight to find Mister or Misses right
Just stop going for whatever is there
Don’t settle for another tug
Don’t break for another pull
Because a heart can only handle so much tug and pull
And you know the only one who suffer’s is you and only you.

Our Bond

My best friends❤
Through thick and thin
Time goes by
Friends come and go
Moments shine and blow
Positives & negatives
My life picture is fully blown
I look past the noise
The blurriness
The clutter
The lies
broken promise
and the fakes
And I know you guys will be there at the end of this
it’s fate
Something you can never lose
A bond unlike any you can choose
untouchable
unbreakable
Something I can’t even comprehend
Sincere love
Never jealous
No judgements
Just comfort
moments will pass
New friends will be made
But we’re magnetized to each other
Sooner or later
Time will bring us together
It always does
It never fails
We always end up in each others arms
We lean on each other
To get through all the bothers
Bring smiles to one another
As well as knowledge like a big brother
And I will cherish the moments we have together
because this friendship is unlike any other
Like I said, our bond is unbreakable
And no matter how long the days pass that we do not speak
We jump into each others lives without fright
We belong in each other
In each others hearts
That’s how I know these blessings are my sisters
Family never parts, and you guys will never part from my heart
It’s that simple
My best friends
My sisters❤

I’ve been waiting for you.. I want you.. I love you.

I can feel your breathe on my neck
Lingering up to my lips
your not even here and I feel you next to me on my bed
Eyes are closed, I can feel your finger tips
Running up my chest,
I inhale your scent and I feel like I’m inside you
And your inside me
Connected impossibly
with a love so impossible
and we’re possibly insane
To feel this close in a time so constrained
Meanwhile your presence has felt like an Eternity..

I’ve been waiting for you.

The time I spend with you feels endless
the world around me isn’t clear
It’s fuzzy and unknown
All I know is your eyes in front of me
The picture of you is fully blown
Clear but uncomprehendable
starring at something I want so much
even if I may fall in an unclear abyss
I want this risk..

I want you.

You can only imagine how much I crave your touch
When I’m with you
I can’t hold your hand enough
Our bodies need to touch
In the same room and I can’t lose sight of your eyes
My eyes look up to you and I can’t help but sigh..
I’m grasping your beauty at every angle
And as my words get tangled
I finally blurt out everything I feel
And it’s like a song coming out of me
Flowing so effortlessly
So naturally
And this is how I know
I owe you
An “I love you”
Because sincerely,

I love you.

Your Present

Even though your miles away,
That can’t take away the feelings I have for you bae,
My stomach doing cartwheels, butterflies coming my way,
Gravity can’t pull me down today,
It’s only been a month but damn you got a hold on me,
Morning till night, talking non-stop, can’t let my iPhone free,
Got a happy face on, full of glee,
Still got a thing for me, even if I’m a gleek 8)

So I just wanna know what makes you so addicting,
You’re all I have in my head, it’s so amazing,
I can’t think of no one else, you made my eyes see only you, and I swear it’s like I’m dreaming

Your all I see in front of me, even if you ain’t there,
It’s just a deep connection inside of me, I know I gutta share,
And I don’t really second guess the sanity of this affair,
Cuz seeing us together in dreams, I know this gutta be real. All is fair
And all I have for you is me.. Bare.
Starting over but I’m willing to take the steps if we go slow.. Layer by layer.

I just wanna know what makes you so addicting,
You’re all I have in my head, it’s so amazing,
I can’t think of no one else, you made my eyes see only you, and I swear it’s like I’m dreaming

And when we haven’t talked
I kinda feel lost
Like I’ve always needed you there,
At any cost,
So I’m tryna give you a gift,
I got the paper, tape and bow,
I got cuts and bruises but you should know,
If you unwrap me with trust,
I can handle all you got.

Already Paid

I just want someone so bad
Someone I’ll want to talk to every second of the day
When I can’t feel their presence emotionally
I’ll get weary
I’ll feel the empty
space
When their at unreachable distances
Someone who’ll make me do anything for them
buy them whatever, do whatever
Dedicate the perfect love song
And reiterate our love in my own song

my heart is aching
There’s no one there
No one I can call my own
No one that really needs me
Like damn
But I’m too picky myself
Maybe searching in the wrong places
To fill these spaces
In my deep heart
Cuz superficial crushes
mend the surface
But nothing really comes within
Rides my veins
Pumps within
Makes sane me
Turn to insanity
And make my heart skip a beat
just cuz their too sweet
And no one needs to be the beast
Cuz our loves just beauty
It’s that ill, not even at its peak
But where to go
Where to find this person I seek
and how long will it take,
cuz the single life really needs a break
And I keep thinkin like
I just need a new strategy
But meeting all these people giving false hopes make me say
Is anyone real alive? Or are they all fake?
Cuz I’d really like to meet true love
I’d even settle for true lust
but don’t judge me cuz that’s just how society was
I mean is* and I still stand corrected cuz
The life I’m living is “unrealistic” since love didn’t come in high school like everyone else’s
and now people thinkin she lyin when she say she never lost it
but now I’m thinking honest
I pride myself for never doing it
Temptations always there but trust its hard to stop and ruin it
So when I say I’ll settle it’s just lust talking and I might just do it
But I won’t look down upon myself
Cuz Jesus already paid for the sins I haven’t even planned yet
But until then
I’ll stay patient
cuz I still have a conscience
and I don’t wanna blow it
I wanna live in it
And he died for my sinless life
So I’ll live it up and pray to him as best I can
Pray that love will find me first, I need that helping hand
But what’s done is done,
If I don’t have them clean hands
Remember, I am only human.

God didn’t make labels. Man did. God didn’t make boundaries. Man did.

I think people in general are just beautiful.
No matter what sex, race, shape or form.
If I’m attracted to you, I am.
Why put a label on attraction.
The way love happens, just happens. It’s a force between two souls, two persons.
An imaginary tug between two beings that simply cannot be cut, hidden, or destroyed.
Not by a fraction
Why ruin such a thing?
Why label it as anything and everything when it is just love.
And if it is love, then is shall be.
Right?
.. No.

Love is defined as a shared attraction between man and woman.
Not literally in those words
but in the unwritten rule’s,
the ‘in between the lines’,
the normality of society…
But man made this standard of society, not God…
And although I don’t know much of the man,
God gave us the power to love;
Hand in hand,
Something so sacred, so beautiful, so endless.

& Love knows no boundaries,
but man still makes them,
I just wish there was no standard to live up to.
No fear of rejection.
So it could have been easy to say,
I love her
just as it’s easy to say
I love him.
Wishful thinking I guessin’.

But seriously?
Can’t everyone just accept we were made from and by love
and will keep being made…
Made from love, not hate or fear.
Love never fails
It is proven everyday
And it must be accepted
In any form
Because God made man to love one another
And race or sex cant stand as a boundary any longer.

Let Me Try / Handle On Life

I’ve came to the conclusion
I no longer need these illusions
Time no longer matters, it’s a state of confusion
What I do here and now is my state
Your opinion no longer matters, at this rate
What I do is my matter, i don’t need your “for god’s sake”
Do this or that, it’s a wrap
Came to talk? Bro don’t attack
I know what my life has become
I don’t need mirrors surrounding me
I see within myself everyday
And bro it’s scary
I need change, but change is scary
Day by day I get weary
Do I really wanna fight the battle within me?
Break the walls of defeat
Build my ego, inches and feet
Stack ’em up ’til I’m ready to go.. Go.
But where’s my confidence at?
Bro push me to succeed and confidence shall lead.
one good deed ends to another
My life ends here and out comes another
resurrected, built 10 times harder
And I’m here to stay, no falling out
I come to find my path, no following out
Through the forests I’ll find my own way out
So just let me be
I got this, you see?
Just let me.

Saved

Sometimes you run into someone in life who comes out of no where.
When your at your last thought, last feeling, last anything.
When nothing seems worth living for.
It could be family, a lover, or a friend. All 3 are just a blessing.
But to have a friend there as your second family, and to comfort you when no one else can understand is amazing.
Especially when you know their presence in your life changed you dramatically and altered your future forever.
They came at the right place and time.
They gained your trust as you did theirs.
Little by little memories are made.
And somehow you can’t see yourself having the time of your life without them.
They give you courage to be you.
They accept you as you are.
Little by little a friendship grew as did a blessing.
Because anyone who loves you for you is a blessing right?
Actually the fact that they give you one more reason to even be.
To even live.
To save your life.
That’s a blessing right there.
My best friend is a blessing.

I Found Love

I’ve wondered a lot when I will ever find this thing called “love” it had me wondering where it could be. Here are my thoughts.

Love is in a rose
Love is in a caring thought
An unnecessary gesture
that extra mile help
Its In between two people when the rest of the world is just a blur
All that is clear is you and her
it’s in that smile he gives you
Even when he’s not around
It’s the emptiness & the fullness
You feel when it’s as cold as ice
And as hot as fire
The love is inside you
In your heart
You carry it with you
Day in and day out
If you’re looking for love
Love is everywhere your not looking
Close your eyes
Feel your breathe being inhaled and exhaled
Hear the thoughts running through your brain
Feel the emotions coming through
Your heart
Your heart signifies love
Their is love within you
Feel your own
Accept it
Own it
Love it
That’s all that is needed,
yourself.
Now finding another
Is just a bonus
We all want that bonus.
But for now I’ll just keep loving the love inside me<3

Ah I need this mentality all the time. Sorry guys I'm not single. I'm in a deep long relationship with myself<3

Boo…

I have a crush and I want it to go awayyy
I have a crush and it’s keepin’ me awakeee
I have a crush and there ain’t no wayyy
We can be friends after last nights kiss
before that kiss I was fine with just friends
before that kiss we could dance and just let the feelings blend
Before that kiss I was okay
Now we’ve kissed & ..
I have a crush on you and now we just can’t be friends.

Free verse havin’ fun type of writing (: