Already Paid

I just want someone so bad
Someone I’ll want to talk to every second of the day
When I can’t feel their presence emotionally
I’ll get weary
I’ll feel the empty
space
When their at unreachable distances
Someone who’ll make me do anything for them
buy them whatever, do whatever
Dedicate the perfect love song
And reiterate our love in my own song

my heart is aching
There’s no one there
No one I can call my own
No one that really needs me
Like damn
But I’m too picky myself
Maybe searching in the wrong places
To fill these spaces
In my deep heart
Cuz superficial crushes
mend the surface
But nothing really comes within
Rides my veins
Pumps within
Makes sane me
Turn to insanity
And make my heart skip a beat
just cuz their too sweet
And no one needs to be the beast
Cuz our loves just beauty
It’s that ill, not even at its peak
But where to go
Where to find this person I seek
and how long will it take,
cuz the single life really needs a break
And I keep thinkin like
I just need a new strategy
But meeting all these people giving false hopes make me say
Is anyone real alive? Or are they all fake?
Cuz I’d really like to meet true love
I’d even settle for true lust
but don’t judge me cuz that’s just how society was
I mean is* and I still stand corrected cuz
The life I’m living is “unrealistic” since love didn’t come in high school like everyone else’s
and now people thinkin she lyin when she say she never lost it
but now I’m thinking honest
I pride myself for never doing it
Temptations always there but trust its hard to stop and ruin it
So when I say I’ll settle it’s just lust talking and I might just do it
But I won’t look down upon myself
Cuz Jesus already paid for the sins I haven’t even planned yet
But until then
I’ll stay patient
cuz I still have a conscience
and I don’t wanna blow it
I wanna live in it
And he died for my sinless life
So I’ll live it up and pray to him as best I can
Pray that love will find me first, I need that helping hand
But what’s done is done,
If I don’t have them clean hands
Remember, I am only human.

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4 comments on “Already Paid

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