Tug & Pull

A heart can only handle so much tug and pull,
But we all love to have that attention from whoever comes through to you,
So We look for it,
We feen for it,
We search from person to person,
To find that connection,
We want that attention,
That specific affection,
No matter what situations we put ourselves in,
Go to the ends of the Earth to make it happen,
But you should know,
At the end of the day,
Your left with yourself,
This fact is always left a secret,
A secret from ourselves,
Or better yet,
A denial to ourselves,
so all we hear is,
“Yeah girl i’ll be with you forever”
or
“Yeah boy i’ll be with you forever”
And you cherish this promise they hold over you,
Like there is no end to it,
A promise is solid & definite.
Right?
But what if all that trust you put in with them just changes,
And they drop you like not a fuck was lost,
What if the love of your life doesn’t see you as the love of THEIR life,
What happens then?
Yeah you can talk to as many people as you want,
Trying to fill the void,
But speak truthfully,
It only takes a moment for it to empty again,
And your hopelessly,
Hopelessly in love with the idea that THIS person might be it
Even with your logic screaming don’t do it.
And it’s you controlling the reins to your heart
Tugging left
Pulling right
But who are you to let everyone beat it up like its in a fight
A fight to find Mister or Misses right
Just stop going for whatever is there
Don’t settle for another tug
Don’t break for another pull
Because a heart can only handle so much tug and pull
And you know the only one who suffer’s is you and only you.

Your Present

Even though your miles away,
That can’t take away the feelings I have for you bae,
My stomach doing cartwheels, butterflies coming my way,
Gravity can’t pull me down today,
It’s only been a month but damn you got a hold on me,
Morning till night, talking non-stop, can’t let my iPhone free,
Got a happy face on, full of glee,
Still got a thing for me, even if I’m a gleek 8)

So I just wanna know what makes you so addicting,
You’re all I have in my head, it’s so amazing,
I can’t think of no one else, you made my eyes see only you, and I swear it’s like I’m dreaming

Your all I see in front of me, even if you ain’t there,
It’s just a deep connection inside of me, I know I gutta share,
And I don’t really second guess the sanity of this affair,
Cuz seeing us together in dreams, I know this gutta be real. All is fair
And all I have for you is me.. Bare.
Starting over but I’m willing to take the steps if we go slow.. Layer by layer.

I just wanna know what makes you so addicting,
You’re all I have in my head, it’s so amazing,
I can’t think of no one else, you made my eyes see only you, and I swear it’s like I’m dreaming

And when we haven’t talked
I kinda feel lost
Like I’ve always needed you there,
At any cost,
So I’m tryna give you a gift,
I got the paper, tape and bow,
I got cuts and bruises but you should know,
If you unwrap me with trust,
I can handle all you got.

Already Paid

I just want someone so bad
Someone I’ll want to talk to every second of the day
When I can’t feel their presence emotionally
I’ll get weary
I’ll feel the empty
space
When their at unreachable distances
Someone who’ll make me do anything for them
buy them whatever, do whatever
Dedicate the perfect love song
And reiterate our love in my own song

my heart is aching
There’s no one there
No one I can call my own
No one that really needs me
Like damn
But I’m too picky myself
Maybe searching in the wrong places
To fill these spaces
In my deep heart
Cuz superficial crushes
mend the surface
But nothing really comes within
Rides my veins
Pumps within
Makes sane me
Turn to insanity
And make my heart skip a beat
just cuz their too sweet
And no one needs to be the beast
Cuz our loves just beauty
It’s that ill, not even at its peak
But where to go
Where to find this person I seek
and how long will it take,
cuz the single life really needs a break
And I keep thinkin like
I just need a new strategy
But meeting all these people giving false hopes make me say
Is anyone real alive? Or are they all fake?
Cuz I’d really like to meet true love
I’d even settle for true lust
but don’t judge me cuz that’s just how society was
I mean is* and I still stand corrected cuz
The life I’m living is “unrealistic” since love didn’t come in high school like everyone else’s
and now people thinkin she lyin when she say she never lost it
but now I’m thinking honest
I pride myself for never doing it
Temptations always there but trust its hard to stop and ruin it
So when I say I’ll settle it’s just lust talking and I might just do it
But I won’t look down upon myself
Cuz Jesus already paid for the sins I haven’t even planned yet
But until then
I’ll stay patient
cuz I still have a conscience
and I don’t wanna blow it
I wanna live in it
And he died for my sinless life
So I’ll live it up and pray to him as best I can
Pray that love will find me first, I need that helping hand
But what’s done is done,
If I don’t have them clean hands
Remember, I am only human.